Corollary
by Exonerate
Summary: Set after Arael, the 15th, attacks. AlternUniverse-Kaworu developes a closer relationship with Asuka instead of Shinji. Read at the risk of your own mental sanity. Chapter 10 up.
1. For in that sleep of death what dreams m...

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

Author's Note: This fanfic (will) contains harsh language, but I'm giving it a PG-13 rating since it's no worse than what most 14 year-olds use today. If you are offended by harsh language, please leave. This rating, however, may change as the story progresses. Also, this fanfic contains spoilers up to the defeat of the 15th angel. If you don't want to know what is going to happen, don't read this. All comments, even flames are welcomed. This is my first fanfic, so please don't expect too much. This fanfic is set right after the defeat of Arael, the 15th angel, and right before the arrival of the Fifth Child, Kaworu. Thanks to koko775 for proof-reading this.

"You're sure."

"I'm sure." His response was a statement, not a question.

"If you change your mind later, you're still welcomed to come back."

"I won't."

"Shinji, maybe you just have to talk to her... Work things out..." Misato knew whatever she said wasn't going to make a difference. Shinji's mind was made up, but she was still obligated to try.

Shinji gave a forced laugh, then smiled ruefully before continuing.

"I've already tried. I just can't take it anymore. She's always going 'Baka Shinji this, hentai Shinji that' At this point in time, I just want her to stop tormenting me. "

"You could at least wait until she recovers. It wouldn't be too late if you moved out then..."

"I don't want her to know I'm moving out because of her. She's not going to get that satisfaction."

"Fine then. Go." Misato whispered. She extended her finger towards the door. "Keep running like you always do. You'll never solve any problems this way."

Shinji got up, started towards the door, then opened it. Before he stepped out, he turned around.

"I'm not running away from my problems. I'm running towards hope.", he replied.

And with that, he was gone.

Misato's eyes lingered on the door for a moment after it closed. She then leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. "Will he ever come back?" She wondered. "Dammit, stop thinking like that. Besides, the 5th child is scheduled to come today. What was his name again? Kaworu? Something like that. I just hope Asuka gets better soon. Without her, we're extremely vulnerable... God, there are so many things I have yet to do..."

_"Life is a waterfall, we're one in the river, and one again after the fall...   
Swimming through the void, we hear the words; we lose ourselves, but we find it all?..."_

Kaworu Nagisa smiled slightly as he listened to his CD player. He closed his eyes, and followed the tune within his mind. 

__

"What you're listening to is antiquated. It's pre-second impact." 

"I know. After that disaster, there hasn't been much progress with music anyways. This is as good as it gets."

"It's all in the eyes of the beholder..."

"Why do you listen to such depressing songs?"

"Because I cannot let go of the past."

"..."

"Sir? We'll be arriving at Tokyo-3 in 20 minutes." said a NERV Section 2 agent. "Prepare yourself."

The only acknowledgement Kaworu gave was a slight nod. He was slightly amused that he was being treated with such high reverence from an adult. 

_"Humanity is pinning all their hopes on pre-pubescent children... They must be desperate"_

************ 

Images flash through Asuka Langley Sohryu's mind. Asuka as a child. A ripped doll with stuffing spilling out of it. A doll with a wicked grin on it's face,hanging by it's neck, feet dangling towards the ground.

_"My dear little Asuka... Die with me!"_

_"Ok! I'll die with you! So don't stop being my Mama! Please - Mama!"_

_"Mama? Who are you? I don't know you..."_

Asuka could only watch helplessly, trapped within her own mind.

_"NO! It's not true! That's not me!"_

_"Poor Asuka, abandoned by her Mama. But she won't cry, will she? Oh, no, she's the mighty Asuka Langley Sohryu! She doesn't need anybody, because she can do everything all by herself."_

_"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_

_The voice ignored her, and continued, oblivious to her rantings. _

_"Too bad nobody loves her. Why, she doesn't even have any friends! Her own Mama was driven to commit suicide by her. Pathetic."_

_"No! I do have friends! Shinji and Misato! Hikari!"_

_"You think they actually like you? You keep torturing Shinji and have already driven him away with your words. Misato is just fullfilling her duty anyways. Hikari just pities you because you have no friends._

_"I still have Kaji! I love him, and he loves me!"_

_"Who are you trying to kid? He's old enough to be your father. In his eyes, you're just a child. Nothing more."_

_"No! It's not true!"_

_"Denial."_

The view shifts. Now, in her eyes are two Asukas. A child holding a doll, and a perfect replica of herself, in a fetal position, trying to hide the tears streaming down her cheek. There is nothing but silence. Then the child speaks.

_"Are you lonely?"_

The other Asuka is silent. She ignores the child, and continues to sob.

_"... Are you lonely?"_

The child extends her hand, and reachs for Asuka.

_"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! I CAN LIVE BY MYSELF!"_

_"Do... Do you like me?"_

_"NO! I DON'T NEED ANYONE!"_

_"Do you really like me?"_

_"I CAN LIVE BY MYSELF!"_

The child then suddenly vanishes, replaced by the doll which is hanging by it's neck.

_"Liar."_

_"NOOOOOO!"_


	2. Arrival in the Dark

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

************

"Sections 2 and 3 of the East Wing will close at 6 p.m. today.   
Staff are requested to finish all work by 4: 30 p.m."

Shinji ignored the announcement. The hospital was about to close, but he didn't care. He looked down at Asuka's unconscious form lying on the bed. 

"I... I'm scared Misato and Ayanami... Help me... Help me, Asuka."

Asuka makes no response. She continues to lie on her bed, without movement.

"Hey... Wake up! Come on... Wake up! Come on... Hey... Asuka... Asuka... ASUKA!!!"

Shinji continues to rant and rave. Asuka continues to lie face down, giving no sign she can understand nor hear Shinji.

Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me! Call me an idiot like usual! HEY!!!"

Shinji shook Asuka roughly, turning her over, revealing everything beneath her hospital gown. She is wearing a lacy bra revealing much of her breasts. Shinji backs away a few steps. He turns around, then bolts the door. The room is filled with Shinji's labored breathing, which gradually grows faster in pace. Finally, there is a grunt, then silence...

"I... I'm worthless..." 

************

The plane swooped down the runway like a raptor, and made a safe landing. It continued down the path, then came to a complete stop. A staircase with a blood red velvet carpeting on it was brought to the plane. The door slid open, and out stepped Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child. He slowly strolled down the stairs, then stopped in front of a purple-haired women. Upon meeting her, Kaworu bowed. 

"Konnichi wa, Major Katsuragi."

Misato was temporarily speechless. Kaworu's appearence was unusual, to say the least. He had greyish-silver hair, and deep crimson eyes. Misato hadn't expected him to bow, but she quickly reacted by returning the bow.

"Please call me Misato, since we'll be working closely. Welcome to Tokyo-3, Kaworu."

Kaworu gave a slight grin, then responded.

"Thank you."

Misato turned around and started walking. Kaworu followed at her side.

"Do you know where you will be staying tonight?"

"I assumed NERV had already arranged everything."

"_Damn. I can't believe I forgot something so important... Terrific first impression..._" Misato cursed silently at herself for being so unprepaired. "_Alright, lets see... I could have him stay at the barracks... Yeah, right, that's no way to treat a guest! Apartment then? No, has to be requested then processed... We don't have that much time. Fucking stupid bureaucratic proceedures... Why the hell does it take 3 days just to prepare an apartment?_"

"Uhh... Well, um, I kinda forgot to arrange that... Sorry."

Kaworu's smile stayed on his face as he responded.

"That's alright, I can stay at the barracks."

"NO! I mean, that's no way to treat a guest... Well, you could stay at my apartment temporarily... I have an extra room"

"Thank you for your offer, but I'm afraid I cannot accept. I dare not to inconveni-"

Misato cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "No, I insist. It is my fault that you do not have a place to say, so I must take repsonsibility."

Kaworu gave another bow. "Then I thank you for your hospitality"

"No, it is expec-" Misato stopped in mid-sentence, as her cell phone on her hip began to vibrate. "Excuse me" she said absently minded. She didn't even hear Kaworu's response as she looked at the display. A priority 3 message. Not urgent, but not something to be ignored either. She put the phone to her ear.

"Major Katsuragi."

"Hello, this is Doctor Yamazaki from the hospital. One of our patients, Asuka Langley Sohryu, has awaken. I've been told to notify you when this happens."

"What is her condition?"

"Physically speaking, she's fine. Mentally... She seems very depressed."

"Is she ready for pick-up?"

Upon hearing the words, he doctor hesitated. He hadn't though of that, until Misato mentioned it. 

"She might need some time to rest. She should be fine tomorrow."

"Thank you. I'll pick her up tomorrow." 

With that, Misato closed the link before the doctor could respond. It was probably rude, but she could care less. 

"_Asuka has finally recovered..."_

"Alright, Kaworu, lets go to your new temporary home."

************

"I'm here to pick Asuka Langley Sohryu up." Misato took her NERV Identification card out, and flashed it to the receptionist. The receptionist walks away from her desk, then bowed.

"Alright, please follow me, Major Katsuragi"

The receptionist stood up, and Misato followed. Together, they went down the hallway, then turned left. They stopped at a room. The receptioist stepped back, and Misato opened it. Inside was Asuka. She was sitting up at her bed, staring into space. She didn't look at Misato when she spoke.

"Asuka? I'm here to pick you up."

Asuka only nodded. She got up, and walked out the door without glancing at Misato or the receptionist. Misato followed her out. The drive back was uneventful. Neither one broke the silence during the half-hour drive. Asuka just gazed out the window, while Misato kept looking back to see if she was ok. Misato longed to ask how she was, but she already knew the answer. Asuka took the lead, and entered the building. She didn't even look back to see whether Misato followed or not.

************

Misato had left earlier, leaving Kaworu at home. He remembered her telling him to make himself at home. So, he did what he usually did at home; watch soap operas.

_"Why are you watching this shit?"_

__

"It's a great opportunity to observe the Lillim."

"You expect to learn about them through soap operas? You don't actually expect them to be accurate representations of their life, do you?"

"Maybe. Another reason is that because they're amusing."

"Thats what I thought."

Before Kaworu could respond, the door opened. The Second Child walked in. Not with her usual swagger and confidence, Kaworu noted. In contrast to the videos he had seen about her, he couldn't help but think she seemed depressed. Asuka took a few seconds to respond to the strange visitor on the sofa. Her face showed apparent suprise. 

_"Might as well introduce yourself..."_

"Hello. I am Kaworu Nagisa... The Fifth Child."

Authors Notes: I apologize before-hand for any mutilated Japanese you might find here. I'm taking it as a foreign langauge this year, but it's my first year, so, yeah, you can expect quite a few mistakes.


	3. Deprivation

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

************ 

Asuka ignored the Fifth Child, and sheturned around to face Misato, then for the first time in months, she spoke. Her tone was harsh and questioning, and her eyes were seeking answers.

"Shinji. Where is he?"

Misato involuntarily avoided eye contact with Asuka, who was staring at her icily. 

"He... He moved out."

Asuka's eyes narrowed when she heard the words. Her facial expression was stiff; it was impossible to tell what she was thinking.

"To where?"

"Out. Just out."

Asuka turned around, and started walking towards her room. Kaworu moved slightly so that he was in her sight. He then put on the most charming smile he could manage, then bowed.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Sohryu."

Asuka's eyes focused inwards. There was a brief pause, then she spoke.

"Don't call me that. Ever."

Kaworu hesitated a bit as he tried to recall her personelle file. "_It did say that she prefered Sohryu... Right?_"

"Gomen nee, what would you preferred to be called?"

"Asuka." With that, she turned and walked away. She went straight into her room, and closed the door behind her. She didn't exactly slam it, but it was forceful enough so that the door closed shut firmly behind her. Kaworu could hear a little click as she locked the door.

"It seems that the Second Child doesn't enjoy me..."

"Give it time, she just got back... She's still depressed."

Kaworu gave a slight dejected nod, then started walking away.

"Oh, Kaworu-kun?" Misato managed in her sweetest voice possible.

"Yes?" Kaworu knew she wanted something, but he had no idea what it was.

"Umm, could you cook today? It's just that I'm really exhausted... I mean, if you don't want to, we can always ord-"

"Thats alright... I'll do it."

"Thanks! You're so sweet!"

Misato gave him a hug as reward, then walked off to her room.

"_I wonder if she actually thinks that will motivate me to continue this..._"

******

"Misato! Dinner is ready!" 

Kaworu, admittingly, wasn't exactly a first-class chef, but it was still a lot better than what Misato could come up with. There weren't much materials to work with, but he managed to prepare some stir-fried vegetables and beef, tofu, miso soup, and, of course, rice. 

"_Not exactly a feast, but better than ramen noodles mixed with curry...Looks like SEELE's got themselves some pretty good intel sources._" Kaworu thought to himself. 

Misato walked out her room in a pair of short blue jeans and a half open Hawaiian shirt. 

"Hey, Kaworu-kun, *yawn* thanks." She sat down, and promptly started gulping sake. After 3 seconds, she threw the emptied can away, and reached for another.

"Ahh! That hits the spot!" After finishing three cans of sake, the sat back on her chair, and burped loudly.

"Uh, Misato? Where's Asuka?"

"In her room. Go call her, would you?"

"Ok..."

Kaworu got up, pushed his chair in, and walked to Asuka's room. Reaching the door, he hesitantly knocked on it. 

"Uh, Asuka? Dinner's ready..."

"I'm not hungry. Get out."

"C'mon..." Kaworu tried turning the knob, but it wouldn't move. He briefly wondered if he should try to open it with his paper clip. "Asuka? C'mon, what good will starving yourself do? Asuka? Asuka! Stop hurting yourself!"

When Kaworu's fist was about to come down, the door opened. Asuka held his wrist in a tight, firm grip. She looked angry, and had red eyes.

"Why do you care about me, **Fifth**?", spiting the word out like it was a disgusting swear word. "You don't even know me. I don't know you, and you don't know me. I don't care about you, I don't want to talk to you, and I certainly don't want to see you." With that, she flung the door at Kaworu, but he stuck his hand out, and the door bounced off his arm.

"Have you been crying?"

"NO! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Asuka slammed the door shut, and this time, Kaworu did nothing to stop it.

"If you're not willing to help yourself, nobody can..."

"FUCK YOU! GET AWAY!" I HATE YOU!"

Kaworu returned to his table, and finished his now cold dinner, feeling dejected.

"_What's wrong with her?_"

Authors Notes: I apologize before-hand for any mutilated Japanese you might find here. I'm taking it as a foreign langauge this year, but it's my first year, so, yeah, you can expect quite a few mistakes.


	4. First Encounters

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

************ 

Kaworu retired early, at 22 o'clock, but couldn't manage to fall asleep. His mind was in turmoil, pondering upon the situation, and trying to think of what to do next. He tried of thinking up a solution to every possible scenario that Asuka could throw at him, but in the end, he just gave up. There were just too many possible situations for him to prepare for. By 1 o'clock, he was drifting in and out of sleep... Then, a wailing sound pulled him out of his light slumber. He looked around, and there was nothing but darkness. He could see some light creeping in from the crack between the door and the doorframe. Kaworu put his ear to the door, and listened closely. He could hear quite sobbing that came from Asuka's room. 

__

"She's crying... What should I do?"

"What can you do?"

"I can try to talk to her and comfort her..."

"Yeah right, remember how she reacted to you?"

"I have to do **something**."

"There is nothing you can do that will help her."

"I have to at least **try**."

"What if you just end up making it worse?"

Kaworu cursed at himself for his inability to do anything. He returned to his bed, and eventually fell asleep despite the sobbing next door.

************ 

Asuka laid still in her bed, sobbing uncontrolably, with tears streaming down her cheek. Suprisingly, she didn't make an effort to stop the flow of tears from her eyes. 

__

"And its the world against me... First my father left me... Then Mama abandoned me. Nobody understands me... Nobody even tries..."

"Thats not true. Shinji tried, but you just pushed him away."

"I don't want any pity."

"The Fifth did. You didn't even give him a chance."

"He's just trying to take advantage of me... Like everybody else... Shinji wanted me for my body. NERV wants me for my ability to pilot Eva. Nobody values me... To them, I'm just an expendable, little whinny bitch... I wonder if Ikari would've let Rei suffer like I did..."

"Suffer... It's all I do..."

"Pain... It's all I know..."

"Death... Is all I want."

************

"Wake up!!! You're going to be late for school!!!"

__

"What teh..."

"Get up, get up! You're almost late!"

Kaworu sat up, and tried to open his eyes, but then shut them after seeing the blazing sunlight shine into his room. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Misato leaning over him with quite a large amount of cleavage. He tried keeping his eyes off her, but found some difficulty.

"Get up! You don't want to be late to school on your first day!"

"Whaa? I have school today?"

"Yes! It's a Thursday! Now get up!"

"Ok, ok..."

Kaworu almost fell out of his bed, then straightened him. He walked to the kitchen, only to see Asuka already there. Asuka was just staring straight, lost in her own thoughts. 

"Look, I have go to work, ok? Your breakfast is on the table. When you're finished, put it in the sink, then go to school. Asuka? Could you show Kaworu-kun the way to school please?"

Asuka just looked up at Kaworu, then returned to her previous position. 

"Ok? Bye!"

Misato then rushed out the door, leaving it wide open.

Kaworu sighed, then closed the door after her. He sat down, and started eating his breakfast, which consisted of 2 flat pieces of burnt carbon. Misato had left a can of beer on the table, and Kaworu briefly toyed with the idea of drinking it, but then decided against it. After all, he didn't want Misato to get mad at him for stealing her beer. While he was eating, he took the opportunity to examine Asuka closely. Asuka was still dressed in her pajamas which hid her slender figure. She had a pretty face, Kaworu noted, and sliky long red hair. He would've loved to examine the rest of her, but couldn't do so without making it too obvious, so he settled for what he could see. He stared at her, completely forgetting his breakfast. After a few seconds, Asuka gave him a small glance, and Kaworu just gave a slight smile instead of adverting his gaze. He eventually finished his breakfast, brushed his teeth, then got ready to go. It was only then that he realized that he lacked the school supplies.

"Crap... First day of school, and you don't have your stuff? Not good."

"You could ask Asuka for hers..."

"Yeah right... She's not exactly very affectionate towards me, and I'm willing to bet that her pencil case is pink..."

Eventually, Kaworu decided against asking Asuka for her stuff. He returned to his room, put on his uniform, then glanced at the clock. It read 7:50. Kaworu then walked leisurely out of his room, and up to Asuka. 

"Ready to go?"

Asuka looked up at Kaworu for a few seconds, then responded.

"I'm not going to school today." 

She said this matter-of-factly, as though it was something a three year old boy should know.

"Oh... Um, then could you show me the way to school?"

Asuka just stood up. Then walked towards the door.

"Let's go." 

"Aren't you going to get dressed first?"

"Let's go." She repeated herself, as though impatient.

"Uhh, right..."

Kaworu followed her down the hall, and into the elevator. The elevator descended, then opened at the first floor. Asuka stepped out, and Kaworu followed. Together, they walked out the building, and onto the sidewalk. Asuka took the lead, with Kaworu on her right, a few steps behind her. Together, they walked a few minutes before Kaworu spoke.

"Umm... The weather is nice."

Asuka looked up before responding. 

"Its too sunny."

"But the temperature is comfortable." Kaworu said, desperately trying to start a conversation.

"Its too warm."

"Oh." Kaworu responded, not sure on how to respond to that.

Kaworu and Asuka walked for a few more minutes before Asuka suddenly stopped and turned around.

"You're going to be late. Aren't you worried?"

Kaworu just chuckled, and responded, "I'm already going to be late. A few more minutes won't matter. Why fight the inevitable?"

Asuka just blinked, as though suprised. She then quickly regained her composure, then started walking again. 

"True..."

A few more minutes later, they reached the gates of the school. 

"This is it. Your class is A-2. Bye."

Then Asuka turned around without saying another word.

"Bye..."

Kaworu entered, and searched the school for his room. After looking for it for ten minutes, he finally found it. He entered the room.

"Sumimasen. Osoku Narimashita " Kaworu said, with a lofty smile to show he wasn't sorry at all.

The teacher, an old man, just looked at him, then said, "Go find your seat." It was as though he didn't know that Kaworu was a new student, whuch was faine by him.

Kaworu found a seat at the end of the room, right behind a blue haired girl's. 

_"Yes... Ayanami, Rei. The First Child."_

Kaworu looked around the room, not really paying attention to the teacher. Everybody was just leaning on their chairs, not really paying attention. Kaworu could see a few people chatting with each other, and one nerdy looking boy with freckles and glasses typing furiously. A few girls were even glancing at him, and giggling. Kaworu gave them a slight smile, which only increased their giddy laughter. He turned his computer on, which greeted him with a welcome screen. He briefly amused himself by reminding himself the number of flaws that the infamous "Windows" system, programmed in the last century, had. 

Kaworu looked at the list of active members. Suzuhara, Touji... Ikari, Shinji...

"_No Ayanami? Oh well, I'd prefer to speak to her face-to-face..._"

After listening to the teacher lecture about the Second Impact, or more correctly, the coverup of the Second Impact, Kaworu's mind began to block him out. He scanned the room again to see what everybody else was doing. Suzuhara was leaning on his chair, staring at the ceiling. Shinji had laid his head on the desk, listening to his SDAT and trying to get some sleep at the same time. There was one girl who seemed to be trying to take notes on what the teacher was saying, but Kaworu could tell she was bored too. He redirected his attention to Rei, who was staring out of the window, into the sky. Hours passed before the bell finally rang, relieving everybody of their misery. Most of the boys rushed out of the room, while some of the girls remained in the room or on the balcony, chatting loudly. Rei, however, just sat there, and kept staring out the window like she did before. The bell rang again, signaling the end of recess. Everybody returned to the room, obviously dreading what was to come. Lunch came, then ended. Kaworu had a few friendly conversations with some people, mostly girls, but still didn't have the chance to talk to who he wanted to. Finally, the last bell of the day rang, and everybody packed up their things and left. Kaworu got up, and followed Rei out the classroom. Kaworu followed her until there was nobody around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Hello Ayanami."

Hearing this, Rei turned around, and looked at him. Kaworu noted that she was a few centimeters shorter than him.

"Who are you." Rei stated coldly, without emotion.

"I'm Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child."

Rei's eyes expanded a little in suprise.

"Pleased to meet you, Rei."


	5. Reload

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

************ 

Rei had no response, except narrowing her eyes even more. Kaworu just grinned. He began walking around slowly, around Rei, who refused to turn her head to follow him around. Only her eyes moved. Kaworu finally spoke.

"We're the same, you and I. Only that you're of Lilith, and I'm of Adam."

Hearing those words, Rei turned around, and walked briskly past him, leaving a smirking Kaworu behind. Kaworu took the opposite direction, and started home. He got lost on his way back, but it wasn't something he didn't expect. After all, it was his first day. He finally found his way to the apartment, and took the elevator up. It didn't occur to him that the door might be locked until he reached it. He didn't expect Asuka to not be home. He put his hand on the knob, and tried twisting it. It didn't budge.

"Crap."

"Having trouble?"

Kaworu wheeled around to see a smirking Asuka, dangling the keys in her hand. 

_"How the hell did she sneak up on me?"_

"Step aside, silly boy." she said, with an air of superiority. She brushed past Kaworu, inserted the key into the keyhole, then tried turning it. Nothing happened. Asuka tried turning the key harder, but it still wouldn't move. When Asuka pulled the key out of the hole, it was bent and deformed beyond recognition. Now it was her turn.

"Shit."

Kaworu just gave his lopsided grin again. 

"You shouldn't have tried to brute force it..."

"Shut up, its not like you can get it open either."

"Watch me.."

Kaworu, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a paper clip. He promptly began reshaping it.

"No way in hell..."

Kaworu, after a minute of reshaping it, stuck it in the hole, and turned it. Nothing happened. Asuka just snickered.

"Told you..."

Kaworu, ignored her, and kept trying. After four more minutes, there was still no results.

"Maybe we should just wait for Misato to come home... I hope she isn't working late today..." sighed Asuka.

*Click* The knob turned, and Kaworu opened the door, with a smile on his face.

"Ladies first." Kaworu smirked, giving a slight bow.

"Hmph." Asuka enters the house, then Kaworu who takes the opportunity to glance at her red hair while shook with every step. He gave an involuntary smile.

Kaworu laid on his bed for a couple minutes, just resting. It was his first day of school in awhile, so he was naturally exhausted. Finally, his laziness wore off, and he got up to work. He turned on the computer to do his work but soon found himself distracted. By the time he finished with his homework, it was 22 o'clock.

"Ugh... Human bodies aren't built for this type of stress..."

Kaworu leaned back, closed his eyes, and tried to relax. He took his clothes out of his still unpacked luggage case, and entered the bathroom. He took off his clothes, and took the opportunity to examine his body. It was lean, but musclar. He stepped into the shower, and turned it on. He felt the rush of hot water streaming down his body, the fog now cleaving to his hair and the mirror. He quickly finished, and stepped out. He dried himself, then put on his clothes. When he walked out, he found Asuka watching television. She was leaning against the sofa in an oversized T-shirt, and yellow shorts. Kaworu sat down besides her. She gave no sign of acknowledgement except a little glance towards his direction. Kaworu took the opportunity to examine the room; it had yellow wall paper, several brown stains on the carpet, and beer cans thrown all over the place. There was an old clock made of wood hung on the wall, obviously a pre-Second Impact relic. Kaworu returned his attention to the television, which was airing a news broadcast. 

"Tomorrow's forecast includes a slight chance of rain. Humidity is predicted to be about 50%, and parts of Southern Japan will experience a ..."

Asuka yawned and leaned back. Her leg and arm was touching Kaworu, but she didn't seem to notice it. Kaworu yawned. He was getting sleepy. He stood up, then stretched.

"Good night Asuka, I'm going to sleep."

Asuka just nodded vaguely, without looking at him. Kaworu waited several seconds for Asuka to say something to him, but she said nothing. Kaworu left. He entered his room, and quickly drifted into sleep...

************

Asuka was dreaming. It was the same one again. She knew it was a dream, but couldn't help feeling lonely and abandoned. There was a doll hanging from the ceiling, with a devious grin across its face.

"Poor Asuka... Abandoned by her Father. Deserted by her Mother. Forsaken by all."

Rage was flowing through Asuka's veins. Her jaws were clamped tightly together.

"Shut... Up."

The view changed. She was now on a ship during the night, watching herself and Kaji.

"You're the only man for me, Kaji!"

"I'm honored." came the sarcastic reply.

"I'm ready for anything... Be it kissing or beyond!"

"Those things are for adults... You're just a child."

That last sentence echoed in her mind. 

"You're just a child..."

Then the view shifted again, this time to an younger version of herself. Her Mother was hanging from a rope tied to the ceiling. The cord cut deep into her trachea, crushing her windpipe. The eyes were wide open. It was a gruesome sight. The young Asuka just stood there, staring at the lifeless figure which was swaying in the wind. Then it spoke. It was an unnaturally high pitched voice and sounded near hysterical. The voice crept through the chilly air.

"Come my Asuka... Come die with me!"

The young Asuka started running towards the lifeless corpse, which was floating away. 

"I'll come with you Mama! Don't leave me! I'll do anything you want!"

Then Shinji appeared in front of her.

"Are you alright, Asuka?"

"Get away from me!"

Shinji ignored the warning, and took a step closer.

"I can't help you if you won't help yourself."

"I don't need any help! I hate you! I hate the whole goddamn world! I hate my life! You're a fucking wuss! I hate how Wondergirl always has to save me! I hate how the mighty fucking Shinji always heroically rescues me!"

Asuka punched Shinji in the face, hard. To her suprise, the head rolled off, and kept rolling until it came to a complete stop, with his eyes still staring at her. Asuka gave a gasp of suprise.

"Shinji!"

************

The first thing Kaworu heard was sobbing. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was awake. He checked the clock besides his bed. It read 3 o'clock. He just laid in bed, listening to the soft crying emanating from the neighboring room. He spent a few minutes listening to it, questioning what he should do. 

__

"She's crying... again. What should I do?"

"You could try comforting her... But that didn't work too well last time."

"She's more accepting towards me now... I should at least try."

Kaworu didn't bother waiting for an answer from his conscience, and got up from his bed. He cursed his eyesight, and searched for his contacts, but then decided against it because it wasn't worth the trouble. He slowly opened his door, and looked down the hall. Misato's room was dark, and he could hear some slight snoring from it, indicating that she was asleep. Asuka's room had all the lights turned off, but he could tell there was light streaming in from the window by looking at the slight crack between the door and the floor. He tested the door to see if it was locked. It wasn't. He pushed gently, and the door slide open, barely making any noise. Kaworu stepped in without saying anything. He looked around the room, and saw Asuka curled up on the bed in a fetal position. Kaworu slowly walked up to her and sat besides her. 

"Hey... What's wrong?"

There was no response from Asuka except for her sobbing. 

"It's alright... Did you have a bad dream? It's over now..."

Suddenly, Asuka wheeled around, and grabbed Kaworu by the shoulders. She slammed him down against the mattress again and again, each time weaker than the last. She gave one feeble slap, then stopped, and buried her head on his chest, sobbing. Kaworu hesitantly put his arms around her shoulders, and Asuka hugged him tighter in response. Asuka just held onto him like this for more than twenty minutes. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Thanks..."

"You're welcome..."

Asuka sat up, and wiped her tears away.

"I... I'm so sorry..."

Kaworu followed her lead, and sat up too. 

"It's alright... Do you want to talk about it?"

"I - I'd prefer not to."

Kaworu gave a small nod. Lillum were always so secretive. 

"I understand."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Stay with me."

Kaworu responded by putting his arm around her shoulder. Asuka leaned on him. Together, they eventually fell asleep...

************

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Misato opened her eyes, then closed it again, trying to avoid the bright light that was flashing into her eyes and to get some more sleep at the same time. 

__

"Fucking alarm clock... I ought to blast that thing to pieces... Where's my Colt..."

"Bad idea, then you'd be late to work."

"Pity..."

Misato tried to open one of her eyes. The clock read 5:48.

"Ugh... Time to get up..." she said to herself.

She got up, stretched and yawned at the same time, then headed towards the kitchen. On the way there, she noticed that Kaworu's room's door was open, and that the room was vacant. She peeked into Asuka's room, and found Kaworu leaning against the wall, and Asuka lying on his lap, both asleep.

__

"Aw... How cute..."

She thought of waking them two, but then decided against it. If they were going to be late, then so be it. Missing a few Kanji and another lecture on the Second Impact wouldn't hurt them. She ate her daily burnt carbon pieces, and downed 4 cans of Yebisu beer. Brushed her teeth, then went to work.

************

Asuka woke first. She found herself on Kaworu's lap, with her drool all over the place.

"Oh shit..."

Her movement had aroused Kaworu (No, not like that you perverts!) He rubbed his eyes, then looked around, and noticed the drool on his pajamas.

"Umm... I'm sorry."

Kaworu just laughed.

"It's alright, I'll just clean it up."

Kaworu got up, and started to leave. He reached the door when Asuka spoke.

"Kaworu? I just wanted to say... Thanks."

Kaworu turned his head around to face Asuka.

"No problem."

************

Authors notes: Sorry if the scene with Rei is a bit disappointing, but I don't plan on making her a major character here. Sorry! Ugh, I'm really not cut out for Fanficts... Not enough time to write them, and most of my writing is too concise, meaning they're all too short. 


	6. The Chilling

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece. 

Kaworu stepped into his room and started dressing. Then he glanced casually at the clock. It took him a few seconds to recognize the hands, but when he realized the time, there was no reaction. Kaworu just gave another yawn, then stepped out. He looked on the table; there was burnt toast, eggs soaked in soy sauce, and milk. He took his plate, sat infront of the TV, and started eating. Asuka stepped out a few moments later, but opted to eat her breakfast at the table.

"Geeze... Why is it so sunny today?" Asuka muttered... She glanced idly at the baby blue clock hanging on the wall. It read 9:41.

"Oh, fuck..."

"Mmm?"

"Its more than half past 9."

"Err, so?"

"THAT MEANS WE'RE LATE YOU IDIOT!!!"

"Ahh."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'AHH'?!? WE'RE LATE!!! WE HAVE TO GET GOING!!!" With this sentence, Asuka grabbed Kaworu by the wrist, and proceeded to drag him towards the door in anime-ish style. 

"If Misato wanted us to go, she would've woken us." Kaworu replied in his usual calm tone. 

Asuka pursed her lips, and took Kaworu's words into consideration. 

"Fine." she finally said. You could tell by the look on her face she hated being wrong.

There was an uneasy silence for a few seconds. 

"What do you propose we do?" questioned Kaworu.

"**We**? You can do what you want, but I'm going to mind my own business."

With that, Asuka walked back into her room, and slammed the door behind her. There was a distinct clicking sound from it being locked. 

************

Kaworu turned on the computer that was in his room. A bit outdated, but still good enough for his purposes. It took Kaworu a little less than half a hour to get the software he needed. Then he begun. 

"Tracert... Lets see... Totally foreign OS. Great. Passive UDP port scan results... Gah, no responding ports. I'm just glad its still operating using the same protocol..."

Kaworu's eyes scanned down the screen while typing furiously.

"_Hmf, time to fire up the old boy..._"

Maximum amount of hops achieved. Failure to reach destination. 

"Bingo. So there is something behind that IP..."

After awhile, he had successfully executed a buffer overflow, giving him access to the main hardware firewall. Using that as his puppet, he continued his attack. In another 2 hours, he had gained user-level access to the NERV network.

"All tripwires disabled... Lets see where Asuka's personel file is..."

2 words popped out on his console; Access Denied. 

"Gah, must be classified files..."

Kaworu started typing again, but suddenly stopped. A sudden pang of conscience ran through him, making him seriously consider what he was really doing.

"_Am I invading Asuka's right to privacy by doing this? Have I seriously considered what she will feel when she finds out?_"

Kaworu started typing again, but halted.

"_I... Can't_"

Kaworu exited the console, but not before erasing all his tracks. 

"_She'll tell me when she's ready._"

************ 

"Hey Asuka... Wanna go out for lunch?"

Asuka was sitting on her bed, with her arms wrapped around her knees. She looked up when Kaworu spoke.

"No... I'm not hungry." she said with a mournful shake of the head.

"Are you alright?" asked Kaworu. He could tell that she was in a solemn mood.

"Yeah."

It was hard for Kaworu to judge if she really was alright from the tone of her voice; it was neutral, and there was no emotion.

"Well... You can still come along. You don't have to eat."

"..."

"Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Where are you going?"

"I was hoping you could give me a few suggestions, seeing how I'm new to this area." 

Kaworu flashed his most charming smile, hoping that would lure Asuka into going with him. Asuka gave a very slight smile then stood up.

"Lets go, but you're paying."

************ 

Moments later, Asuka and Kaworu were sitting inside a Ramen joint. It was a little homey restaurant with only a few people in it. It was lightly decorated with traditional Japanese paintings and crafts. Kaworu ordered Chicken Ramen Bowl, while Asuka opted for a Large Teriyaki Beef Bowl nearly double the amount which Kaworu had bought. By the time Kaworu was half done, Asuka was finished.

"Not hungry, eh?" Kaworu questioned with a wide grin.

"Shut up." Asuka retorted. She tried to maintain a blank face, but failed miserably, succumbing to a wide smile. 

It took another 12 minute before Kaworu was finished. It was painfully obvious that he was a slow eater. Asuka, finding herself bored, tried to initiate a conversation.

"Soo... Where are you from?"

"The southern area of Japan. It's somewhere around Nagasaki. You?"

"Born in Japan, but raised in Germany. I attended college there before returning here."

"College? At fourteen years old? Quite early, hmm?"

"I guess I'm an early bloomer."

"If you say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that... Never mind, its nothing."

"No, tell me."

Kaworu gave a little hesitation before responding.

"Its just that you seem to be in such a rush to grow up... You're brilliant, but you seem so immature at times. It's almost as though you never had a childhood, and are now making up for lost time."

"My childhood... Wasn't pleasant. But that's another story." Asuka said with finality.

Kaworu simply nodded. He finished his lunch in silence, and the silent pair took the bus home.

************ 

Misato had to work past her usual time, and returned later than expected. By the time she got home, Kaworu was nearly cooking dinner, while Asuka was setting up the table.

"Oh Kaworu-kun... Thanks. You don't know how much this means to me..."

Kaworu smiled.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. You better go and change."

A few moments later, Misato stepped out, wearing red shorts and a white T-shirt with rolled up sleeves. Dinner was already on the table, and Kaworu and Asuka were waiting for Misato. It consisted of rice (No Asian meal is complete without it =p), some stir-fried vegetables, broiled fish, left-over chicken, and miso soup. There was polite conversation during dinner, mostly revolving around school and work.

"So... Kaworu... Met anybody _interesting_ at school yet? You know..." Misato asked with a lewd wink.

"Ahh... Somebody caught my eye." Kaworu answered as he bowed his head a little to hide the smile on his face.

Asuka gave a grin as well. "Who is it?"

"Uh, I'm not saying..."

"C'mon! We can keep a secret!" shouted an eager Asuka. Kaworu could tell from the smile on her face that if he told her, half of the school would know by the end of the week.

"Um, I think I'll keep this confidential for now..."

"Aww, you're no fun!" complained Asuka as she settled back into her chair.

"So, Misato, how's work?" questioned Kaworu, trying to change the subject.

"Same old, same old... Its just lots of boring paperwork..."

"If things got exciting, we'd be in quite a bit of trouble..."

"Hehe, true... I wonder when, if ever, the Angels will stop coming..."

Kaworu gave a small smile, noting the biting irony in what he was going to say.

"Well... You know what they say; 17th time's the charm."

Everybody on the table burst into laughter. Misato, sensing that everybody was in a good mood at this time, took the opportunity to break the news.

"Asuka... I signed you up for psychological counseling... You start Saturday."

Asuka pursed her lips before answering. "First of all, its _psychiatric_ counseling. Psychological means I'll probably have some retard who couldn't complete his degree. Secondly, I don't need any 'psychological counseling', because I'm perfectly fine. There's no problem with me."

"Fine, _psychiatric_ counseling, or whatever the fuck it was. I've already signed you up, you're not going to worm your way out of this. I've read the doctor reports, I know what the Arael did, and I know some of your past. You need help, and you're going to get it. **End of story**."

"**Fine**," spat out Asuka, "just don't expect me to cooperate with the half-trained fuckwit."

Asuka quickly wolfed down what remained of her dinner.

"I'm finished."

Asuka retreated to her room, leaving Kaworu and Misato at the dinner table.

"That girl... She's just so stubborn." fumed Misato.

Kaworu gave no response, except to continue eating.

"Thanks for being Asuka's friend, Kaworu."

Kaworu looked up, with a slight and kind smile.

"No, thank her for being my friend."

************ 

It was nearly one in the morning. Kaworu decided to slake his thirst before going to bed, and when he passed by Asuka's room, he noticed that there was a little crack in the door. Kaworu peered in, and found Asuka sitting up on the bed, hugging her knees with her crimson hair scattered all over her back. Kaworu gave the door a little tap, which caught Asuka's attention.

"Can I come in?"

"Can you?"

"Er, may I come in?"

"Ok."

Kaworu sat down right next to Asuka who didn't change her pose. Kaworu leaned back, resting on the bed.

"So... What are you thinking?"

"Your puny mortal mind wouldn't comprehend what I'm brooding on." There was a humorous tone attached to her words, but Kaworu understood the gist of it.

"Would the angel mind sharing her thoughts with a mere mortal as myself?" Kaworu said. There was a smile delivered with his words, reflecting upon the irony of him switching roles with Asuka.

"I am hesitant to inflict such irreversible damage upon a person as sweet as you." Asuka replied with a slight smile. The meaning, however, was clear; "Don't try to get into my mind."

"I must thank the goddess for her display of mercy and compassion." Kaworu got up, gave a slight bow, then walked out of the room. He had forgotten his thirst.


	7. Analysis of the Psyche

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece. 

Author's Note: I'd just like to thank all those who gave encourging reviews... A large part of me was motivated to do this because of the positive reviews.

It was an early Saturday evening. Misato, Asuka, and Kaworu had just finished lunch. Misato had to work during the afternoon, but she had dropped Asuka off at the Hospital, along with Kaworu to make sure she wouldn't run off and would actually attend her appointment. Asuka was still quite bitter, and her resentment towards the psychologist she had an appointment had not alleviated. In fact, she seemed to be aggravating herself.

"I don't need some damn psychologist! Why Misato even did this is beyond me."

Asuka followed her statement by putting both of her hands behind her head, and lifted her head up to look at the sky. Kaworu just looked down at the pavement and sighed.

"It doesn't matter whether you need it or not. Misato signed you up for it, so I think it would be best if you followed her wishes," Kaworu sighed. He tried to read the paper that Misato had given him. "Lets go... It's in Room 7045... I think. The 7 might be a 9, and I'm not so sure the 4 is a 4 either... Gah, judging by her handwritting, I'd say she was a teenage schoolboy trying to finish his homework before he had to to go school..."

Kaworu started walking towards the entrance, but found Asuka still standing there, motionless. He proceeded to grab her hand, and attempted to drag her towards the door. Asuka snatched her hand back from Kaworu, and grabbed his wrist instead, reversing their positions. The duo stepped into the lobby, and entered the elevator which was empty. Asuka then seized the piece of paper Misato left behind for Kaworu.

"That looks more like a 9 to me..." Asuka muttered. Her next action was to press the button for the 9th floor. Kaworu followed by pushing the button with a 7 on it.

"What the fuck?!?" Asuka growled. She raised her hand as though she was about to strike Kaworu. Kaworu simply sidestepped away.

"It looks more like a 7 to me. Besides, the 7th floor is closer to the lobby. If it is indeed there, then we'll be saving time."

"And if it's not, we'll have wasted time." grumbled Asuka. 

"Oh well. Too late; I already pressed the button. We might as well check out that floor first." Kaworu grinned seeing how he had won the argument.

Asuka pursed her lips, then hit the button for the 6th floor.

"There. We better check out that floor first." she said with a broad grin on her face as the door opened. She stepped aside.

"Ladies first." she smiled sweetly.

************ 

"I still have trouble believing you could mistake a 7 for a 6... Even with Misato's atrocious handwriting, you can't make such a mistake without trying to do so."

"Shut up..." Asuka mumbled. She jabbed her elbow into Kaworu's ribs, which immediately brought him down to his knees. Kaworu was clutching where Asuka had hit him, and was lolling on the floor. Asuka took one look then ignored it. After a few seconds, she stole a peek, and saw that Kaworu was still on the ground. She squatted down, and attempted to roll Kaworu onto his back.

"Are you ok?" Had Kaworu seen the look on her face, he would've recognized that it was one of concern and compassion.

"Oh, stop faking it..." said Asuka. It was hard to tell whether she really believed what she was saying. When Kaworu made no response except to groan a little, Asuka bumped him a bit with her shoe, then squatted down when he gave no response.

"Hey! Are you ok?" Asuka nudged harder, and this time Kaworu rolled over. There was no expression on his face.

"Aw, crap... At least this is a hospital where you can get treated quickly..."

Unable to keep it in anymore, Kaworu involuntarily let a smile manifest itself on his face. Asuka immediately went berserk.

"You **bastard**!" Asuka's voice was torn between unholy fury and laughter. She slapped his shoulder with the back of her hand. "Get up!"

Kaworu got to his feet laughing. Asuka was trying to keep herself from following his lead, but eventually faltered. She punched him in the shoulder, hard. There was a loud impact which echoed throughout the empty halls. Kaworu returned the blow playfully. It wasn't a very hard punch, and he doubted if it even hurt her. After all, he was the Angel of Free Will. He could choose the severity of his blows as opposed to the other Angels. Of course, Asuka, the merciless, didn't relent and gave an even harder punch than before in return. Before he could surrender, Asuka gave another punch, and it felt as though his shoulder was a bit dis located.

"Ow. What was the second one for?"

"Think of it as pre-emptive retribution."

The elevator opened. The pair stepped into it.

"So... I don't get an apology from you for 'misreading' the note and wasting our time?" Kaworu asked with a smile.

"I don't apologize for petty things like this," Asuka retorted while sticking her tongue out, "besides, it has yet to be seen if you're correct or not."

"Why not apologize? A little apology mends small rifts before they become festering ravines."

"I hate people who apologize too much... It's so annoying, and makes them look like pansy asses. It's a sign of weakness."

"Is that why you don't like the Third Child?"

Asuka hesitated a little before answering.

"It's part of the reason, but there's more. But this isn't the place to talk about it. And if I don't hurry, I'm going to be late." evaded Asuka. Kaworu could tell from the two excuses she gave that she really didn't want to discuss the Third. At that moment, the elevator doors opened. It wasn't because somebody inside the elevator had pushed a button, but rather because somebody else wanted to use it. The gauge read 9th floor. Asuka stepped out, followed by Kaworu. Together, the made their way through the myraid of hallways, and finally found the room they were looking for. It read:

**Room 9045: Psychologist. Dr. Oyama**

"This is the room... Looks like my fears have been confirmed. It's a psychologist, a half-trained imbecil lacking more brain matter than an eggplant... Misato could've at least hooked me up with a psychiatrist..." 

Kaworu entered the room, trailed by Asuka. Kaworu went up to the counter, and was promptly greeted by a nurse.

"I believe there is an appointment for Asuka Soyhru? Erm, I meant Asuka Langley?

The nurse flipped through her clipboard. 

"Yes. The doctor has been expecting her. Follow me please."

The nurse took the lead, followed by Kaworu and Asuka tugging at his side. The nurse had finally reached a door, and opened it. Kaworu peered in. It looked quite comfortable with its fluffy sofa, leather chair, and it's coffee machine brewing a cup of steaming coffee. Asuka instantly recognized it as an elaborate trick to get the patient to relax. She gave Kaworu a pleading look as though she wanted Kaworu to go along, but was too proud to ask. Kaworu took the initiative instead.

"May I come along with her?"

"I'm sorry, but this is a private counseling session. No visitors are allowed." the nurse replied with a apologetic smile. 

"Alright... I'll be right outside when you're done, ok?"

"Right," Asuka turned around and waved a little. "Bye."

"See you later."

Asuka stepped in, and the door automatically closed behind her, leaving her alone with a man who was reading the newspaper while sipping coffee. She was quite suprised when he spoke in German.

"Hallo... Ich habe Sie erwartet. Warum nicht sitzen Sie hin?"

Asuka gave no answer except to stare back at the man. It seemed as though she was trying to burn a hole through him with her eyes.

"Suprised spreche ich Deutsches? Ich wohnte in Deutschland für einige Jahre. Ich dachte mit Ihrer Muttersprache würde bilden Sie bequemer. Haben Sie einen Sitz. "

Asuka gave the same response as she did before. The man alternated to Japanese.

"Suit yourself. If you get tired, you can sit down later. Would you like something to drink?"

Asuka narrowed her eyes. She could already see how he was trying to make her relax.

"_Crap, I just had to get this type of patient.._."

"The strong and silent type, huh?"

Asuka once again just repeated her previous action of doing nothing.

"_This is going to be a long day..."_

Authors notes: I apologize beforehand for the German, which is probably mangled more than a ferret caught in a jet engine. It was done with the help of an online translator, so the syntax is most likely messed up as well. This is a warning; later in the fanfict, things will get a lot darker and angsty. If you're the happy-go-lucky type, you probably won't like the ending, as its very angsty and depressing. I'm finding it harder and harder to find time to write, with school work piling up, so the next chapter might take some time to complete. Thanks for reading, and you **will** review, or I will input malignant ActiveX code or something and massively fuck up your computer. ~_^


	8. Are you happy?

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece... yet.

Author's Note: I have no idea what possessed me to write this. It's been a very long time since I updated, and school starts in two days for me. I guess I'm trying to tie up loose ends, finish what I started. When I began this, I was a bit depressed, but I'm not really depressed now, so sorry if it doesn't retain whatever magic it had ;P

"_I wonder how the counseling session for Asuka went.. Hopefully they made a little progress..." _Misato thought as she drove in her flashy red sportscar from work to the hospital. She got out, entered the building, and glanced at a scrap piece of paper where she scribbled Asuka's counseling session.

"_Is that a 7 or a 9? God, how sad... I can't even recognize my own handwritting..._"

"Excuse me? Could I provide any assistance?" inquired a friendly nurse.

"Ah, yes. Could you look up Asuka Langley Sohryu and where she currently is please?"

"Of course. One moment." The nurse returned to the computer and typed in a few words before responding. "She's in Room 9045. Take a right hand turn when you get out of the elevator, and continue. It should be at the end of the hallway."

"Thank you." 

Misato got in the elevator, which was conveniently already at the Lobby. She got out when it reached the 9th floor, and walked up to the door.

"_Perfect timing._" she thought to herself, pleased something had finally gone right. The moment she opened the door, she was assailed by loud screaming.

"I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PROBLEM! I'M FINE!" screamed the crimson-haired demon.

"Calm down, be reasonable, there's no need to sho-" the doctor tried to say, but was interrupted again by Asuka's wailing.

"I'M NOT DEPRESSED, I'M FINE, WHY CAN'T ANYBODY SEE THAT?!?" continued Asuka without inhaling another breath.

"Denial is always the first step. Right now we need to work on finding what's wrong wit-"

"LET ME OUT OF HERE, OUR APPOINTMENT IS OVER!" shreiked Asuka. She stormed out of the room, furious, and blew past Misato. A magazine fell down from the rack it was on due to the vibration of the door slamming into the frame. Kaworu hurried after her while Misato stayed behind to speak with the doctor.

"Nobody can help you unless you help yourself!" shouted the doctor after her.

"Not much progress, huh?" she observed slightly exasperated.

"Well, I got her to talk, which she refused to do in the beginning... I'll just have to wear her down. Same time, next week?"

"Yes. Thank you for putting up with her."

The doctor grinned sheepishly. "It's my job. I guess I actually enjoy dealing with this, once in a while..."

************

Misato stepped out of the hospital into the bright sunshine. Asuka's red hair blended nicely with Misato's car's complexion. She was leaning on the car, one leg crossed over the other, obviously displeased while Kaworu just stood with his hands in his pocket in a pleasant mood as always. 

"_She'd make a nice car model._" Misato mused. She could hear bits and pieces of their conversation as she approached. 

"I told you... problem..."

"But... Why depressed... Happy?"

Asuka hesitated a little, then she saw Misato.

"I'm not seeing that dead rock for a brain, son of a whore half-trained incompeten-"

"Your appointment is the same time next week." Misato said with a tone of finality.

"But-" protested Asuka.

"No buts," Misato cut her off, "You can't fool me! I can underst-"

"You can't understand a fucking thing! Nobody does. **Nobody.**" she emphasized. 

Misato threw up her arms in defeat. 

"Fine, I'll let the doctor handle that. Lets go."

Kaworu got in the passenger seat, while Asuka sat in the back. She frequently shot glances at Misato through the mirror, then stubbornly stared out the window, eyes on the power lines. Misato tried to make polite conversation about school, politics, but Asuka always answered with short abrupt responses.

************

As Kaworu and Asuka prepared for bed, she found herself questioning what Kaworu had said. She tapped on the wall before widening the gap between the door and the frame.

"Kaworu?"

"Hmm?" responded Kaworu, idly staring at the ceiling.

"Are you happy?"

Kaworu turned his head to face Asuka. "I suppose. I enjoy life, and I have no reason to be unhappy. Why do you ask?"

"Just... wondering." muttered Asuka.

Kaworu propped up his head with his hand. "You still haven't answered my question." he said with his customary slight smile.

"What question? I don't remember." Asuka tried to evade the topic.

"Are you happy?"

"..."

Kaworu didn't try and rush her, he just maintained his position. It was almost half a minute before Asuka responded.

"I... Don't know."

"Why not? Don't you enjoy life? Is something on your mind?"

"I... Don't know," she admitted, "life just doesn't seem fun anymore. Not that it ever was..." she added bitterly.

"Don't you have anything in your life you can look forward to? Something you enjoy doing?"

At this point, Asuka's voice hardened. 

"I pilot Eva. I protect everybody, and that's all I need to do. All other objectives are secondary."

"And what will you do when you can no longer pilot her?"

"...I won't. Eva is my life. The world needs me." Asuka turned and began to walk away. Just as she closed the door, Kaworu's voice called after her.

"You know, there is more to life than piloting Eva. You should try exploring that sometime... The world may need you, but you have needs too..."

Asuka spent the night brooding on what Kaworu had said, replaying the entire conversation. 

************

Misato yawned loudly, rubbing her eyes. Ritsuko turned away from her desk, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Coffee?" she offered.

"Thanks..." Misato said graciously, taking the cup that Ritsuko offered.

"So, how's Asuka?"

"The farthest the counseling session got to yesterday was screaming and yelling about how she didn't have a problem."

Ritsuko chuckled a little. "At least she's speaking."

Misato pouted a little. "That's what the psychologist said."

"Shinji?"

"No word from him..."

"How about the Fifth? Kaworu? Is that the name?"

Misato shrugged. "He's ok. Getting along amazingly well with Asuka, considering her vicious temper... And, yeah, that's the name."

"You know, you should be on the lookout for him," said Ritsuko half-jokingly. "SEELE sent him, he might be their spy... In fact, he might even be trying to seduce Asuka to give up the innermost secrets of NERV. You shouldn't leave them alone together." she added with a wink.

"I pity whoever tries to touch her... He'd probably be signing his own death warrant... Although I caught them sleeping with each other a few days ago..." Misato caught the look on Ritsuko's face and quickly added "Of course, they didn't actually do anything..."

Ritsuko sat up a little. "All joking aside, watch for him. I'm serious about this, we can never be too caref-"

Suddenly, the sirens started blaring and the alarm lights went off, dazzling the room with an orange glow. Technicans choked on their coffee as they scrambled to their stations.

"Pattern Blue! It's an Angel!" yelled Maya.

"Find the pilots! Suit up the First, Second, and Third! Keep the Fifth on standby!" shouted Misato.

"Inform the Commander! And somebody shut the fucking sirens off!"

"It's about 30 kilometers southwest from here, and closing rapidly! ETA 15 minutes!" roared another technician.

"Section Two has located the First and Second, searching the for rest!"

"Ugh, what a way to start the day..." sighed Ritsuko.

"We haven't had a chance to test Asuka's performance after the... Encounter with the last angel. We may need to rely on the Fifth, who is also untested..." said Misato grimly, wide awake, and her long coffee forgotten.

Author's Note: There. Now review you lazy bastards, or I'll kill Kaworu off =D 


	9. Fusion

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece... yet.

Author's Note: I figure I might as well finish what I started, and do it while school isn't so hectic...

Gendo Ikari had been summoned, and quickly entered the command room. He immediately took control.

"Report." Gendo Ikari said coldly, with this elbows propping up his arms, fingers interlocked, giving only a view of his harsh eyes. The appearance of the commander had calmed the staff down a bit, but the presence of an alien entity which could possibly vaporize half of the Earth still left them nervous. 

"The target is 25 kilometers away, southwest. It's just accelerated, the ETA is now 9 minutes."

"Classify the target as the 16th Angel. Prepare Unit-01 and Unit-00. Place the Second in Unit-02, but leave her on standby. Make sure the Fifth will be ready to take over in the case that a change in pilots is required.

"Sir, the Fifth has not underwen-" objected a technician.

"Irrelevant, we will test his performance now. If the Second cannot pilot her Eva, then she is of no use to us. We have no other choice, Unit-02 is not equipped with the Dummy Plug system."

"Units 00, 01, and 02 report ready to launch."

"Launch Units 00 and 01." came the impassive response.

"Launch!" echoed Misato. Both 00 and 01 became suddenly rigid as they shot straight up. Unit-01's head snapped back as it reached the surface, then leaned forward a little, arms hanging at it's side. Unit-00's actions were nearly identical. 

"Shinji, you will provide Rei with support from a distance while she engages at close range." came Misato's voice over the comlink.

"No, let me! Uni-" protested Shinji, as he was cut off by his father.

"No, we cannot afford to risk Unit-01. We will place Unit-00 in the forward position as planned."

Asuka was already suited up, sitting in Unit-02. She listened to the entire exchange, finding Shiji pathetic, how he practically begged to fight the Angel in place of Wondergirl.

"Where were you when Arael came and ravaged my mind?" muttered Asuka inaudibly to herself.

"_Wondergirl came and saved me, while you did nothing... You stood by and watched as I was violated... Wondergirl, of all people..._" thought Asuka bitterly, recalling the incident in vivid detail.

************

Unit-00 bent in a crouching position, prepared to engage in close combat with the Angel while Shinji stood ready with a pallet rifle several hundred meters behind Rei. Shinji gripped the rifle nervously, anticipating the arrival of the Angel. Then, it shot out of the cluster of trees, floating visibly in mid-air. It looked like a glowing florescent lightbulb in a ring shape. Shinji was reminded of a halo, but his thoughts were interrupted as Rei step forward and withdrew her progrressive knife from her sheath. She charged at an incredible speed, and raised her AT-field, which glowed faintly in a hexagonal shape. Simultaneously, the Angel unraveled itself from it's coiled shape, and also flew towards Unit-00, like a snake shot out of a cannon. There was a sudden impact, then Shinji realized that the Angel had penetrated Rei's AT-field, and attached itself to her Eva. There was a collective gasp back at the Command Center. An AT-field that could completely neutralize Unit-00's with such ease had never been observed before. Even the AT-field of the 15th, one of the most heavily protected, was only on par with Unit-00's. Rei grimaced as she felt the sharp pain resulting from the Angel inserting itself into the Eva's abdomen.

Rei stabbed at the Angel repeatedly with her progressive knife, but there was no effect except the sparks flying from the impact. She finally decided to discard the knife and wrestle with the Angel. Shinji fired frantically with the pallet rifle, most of the shots missing the Angel thanks to it's low surface area. One of his rifles was depleted of ammo, so he tossed it and grabbed another. There seemed to be more shots impacting on Unit-00 than the Angel itself. At that point, Ayanami screamed as the Angel plunged deeper into Unit-00, and Shinji stopped firing, afraid of hurting her.

"Continue firing," stated Gendo, "your only objective is to destroy the Angel."

"No! I can't, I'll hit Rei!" cried Shinji.

"Conti-" repeated Gendo, who was interrupted by another technician.

"The Angel is attempting to integrate itself with Unit-00! They're already 32 percent fused! 37 percent!" shouted Aoba frantically.

"_It seems as though the latest Angels are attempting to contact us, gain a better understanding of our psyche, physiology... The latest ones have become more human-like... Could the next Angel be..._?" thought Gendo to himself.

"Launch Unit-02!" commanded Misato after glancing at the Commander, who nodded slightly when he met her gaze.

"Launch!"

Asuka gave a slightly psychotic grin as she heard the command, gleeful that Wondergirl and the wussy Shinji needed her help once again.

"_Payback time Wondergirl... Now it's **my** turn, bitch, let's see how you like being the one who's helpless..._"

"Ikimashoo!" screamed Asuka as the giant bio-mechanical mecha shot out of Tokyo-3. Asuka eagerly pulled at the controls. Nothing happened, except for Eva-02 slouching forward a bit. Asuka sat there stunned at the lack of response, while Misato's eyes widened. Gendo didn't even seem suprised. She tugged at the controls again and again.

"No... This is impossible... NO!" Asuka quickly went from disbelief to rage. "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" she shrieked while her arms pulled uselessly at the controls with all her might. "No... It's... Not... Possible..." she whispered. 

"Sync ratio is at .02%..." reported Maya.

"Retrieve the Second and replace her with the Fifth." said Gendo apathetically.

Unit-02 was quickly brought back in, while Asuka remained in a state of shock. She had to be carried outside of the plug by the NERV personnel while still shaking and muttering uncontrollably. Kaworu put a hand on her shoulder as she passed him, but she didn't take any notice of it. He walked towards the plug with his head turned around, watching her leave from his view. He got in, and breathed normally as the LCL filled the plug.

"Eva-02, launch!" yelled Misato again. Kaworu quickly sped towards the surface, and upon being released from the catapult, he started sprinting towards Unit-00 and the Angel.

"Sync ratio at 400%! That's impossible! He should be absorbed into the Eva by now!" said Ritsuko with disbelief. "This kid..."

Gendo merely clenched his jaw slightly. "It is as we suspected," he said to Fuyutsuki. "He can set his synchronization ratio to any interger he desires."

While Unit-02 moved at it's top speed, Rei was still struggling with the Angel. When she grabbed it, the Angel instead also fused itself with the Eva's hands. Veins popped out on Rei's body, and she felt as though something was crawling inside her, moving upwards. At this moment, Unit-01 moved in, activating it's AT-field. Once again, the Angel suddenly stopped it's previous motion, and the other end of the Angel shot towards Shinji. The Angel penetrated the AT-field almost instanteously, but this time, Shinji caught it before it's end could bury itself into Unit-01. Shinji held onto the Angel tightly, afraid of letting go. 

The Angel suddenly reformed into the image of Rei, alebit a much larger version of her. Rei then suddenly had an image of herself standing in a pool of LCL, speaking with an exact clone of her. She found herself asking her mirror image who she was, but was only awarded with a cryptic answer. She then awoke to Shinji struggling with the Angel. The Angel held her arms out, as if trying to hug Unit-01. Shinji reacted with shock, and Rei saw little heads which seemed like her image popping out from the Angel. Each had it's own voice, calling at Shinji, who began to falter. 

"_Is... This what my heart wants? To be one with Ikari?_" thought Rei silently, carefully deliberating what she was seeing.

"No." she said her response outloud. Abruptly, the Angel became drawn towards Rei once again, but this time not of it's own volition like previously. The Angel was completely absorbed into the Eva's core which bulged with all the new mass inside it.

"Rei!" screamed Shiniji.

"What the... She's inversed her AT-field and set off the self-destruction sequence!" screamed Maya. "The Angel is trapped within, it can't escape! Rei is holding it in!"

"Cancel the self-destruction!" Gendo said, finally raising his tone of voice.

"It's not responding!" cried Maya. (Classic line, just had to stick it in here.)

"Shinji! Get out of there!" commanded Misato urgently.

"No! Ayanami!" screamed Shinji. Eva-01 started moving towards Unit-00, but then a hand held it back. It belonged to Unit-02. 

"Leave her!"

"NO! I can't!"

"She's made her choice, you have to respect that decision!"

"AYANAMI!"

"Self-destruct in 3... 2... 1..."

"NO! REI!"

"Goodbye, Ikari..." murmured Rei.

"0."

A bright flash steaked through the sky, followed by a huge shockwave and subsequently the sound, which was deafening. Shinji covered his eyes as a reaction to the bright flash. He felt the sudden impact of the shockwave, throwing him back a little, followed by the intense heat, and when he looked again, there was a huge mushroom cloud over where Unit-00 had been. The trees surrounding the area were flattened, and there was a large crater at the site of the explosion. Pieces of Unit-00 were scattered across the area in a 10 kilometer radius, but there was no trace of the Angel left. 

"REEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIII!" yelled Shinji out of despiration.

"She's gone! There's nothing you can do!" shouted Kaworu at him.

"Units 01 and 02, return to base." said Gendo calmly.

"But Re-"

"A team has already been dispatched to find her, return."

"C'mon." said Kaworu flatly. Shinji walked all the way back, his mind still trying to comprehend what had just happened. He walked slowly, thinking of the old times he had with her with Kaworu at his side, who was also silent. He reached the catapult, and before entering, he shot a final look back at the site of the wreckage before he descended back into Tokyo-3.

Ikimashoo = "Let's go" I might have an extra "O" there since I forgot all my Japanese during summer vacation...

Author's Notes: Yes, I killed of Rei. One down, more to go ;)

Told ya somebody would die. Somebody else might die too... If you don't like being sad, I suggest you stop reading. Of course, if you're the morbid and melancholy type like me, you'll probably want to keep reading.

As always, review! I find your lack of reviews... Disturbing.


	10. Dead in the Wake

Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.

Author's Note: Some of you might be wonder as to why I haven't been working on it. To be honest, I've kinda lost interest. I've just finished my finals and memorizing a bunch of shit like the Definition of Dialectic Materialism (Dialectic Materialism is the philosophy of Karl Marx, which he formulated by taking the Dialectic of Hegel and joining it with the Materialism of Feuerback, extracting from it a concept of progress in terms of the contradictory, etc...), and I just need something to do while I listen to my music... Some people say that the best authors are those who had a troubled life. Maybe they're right, and that would certainly explain why I'm currently not in the mood for writing. I probably shouldn't stay up until what will probably be around 1:30 on a Sunday night doing this, but oh hell - I'm used to it. My sleep schedule is already skewed anyways.

Shinji sat on the bench in the locker room. He still hadn't undressed and changed yet. He was leaning forward, with his head in his hands, eyes glazed over. 

"Rei..." he whispered.

Shinji didn't even notice the hand on his shoulder as it squeezed it tightly. Kaworu sat down besides him, and moved his hand around his neck. He leaned on Shinji, breathing softly on his neck.

"Don't blame yourself... There was nothing you could do." said Kaworu, trying to comfort him.

"Rei..." continued Shinji, not taking notice." I... I'm sorry... I tried... But I couldn't do anything... I - I'm so sorry Rei, this is all my fault! I'm useless!" cried Shinji as he buried his face in his hands, sobbing pathetically.

Kaworu just looked on anxiously. He gave Shinji a reassuring pat on his back, then walked out silently.

************ 

Ritsuko stood at the site of the battle that had just taken place. Trees around the area were leveled by the shockwave; some were even vaporized by the explosion. Pieces of blackened metal were strewn all over the place, and the heat in the air could still be felt. Unit-00's remains laid on the ground, motionless. A technician with a clipboard stood in front of Ritsuko, who was smoking. The technician said something, and then Ritsuko dismissed him with a wave of her hand. Ritsuko looked up towards the sky and then back down, contemplating what had just happened. She took out a cell phone, and hit the speed dial. Somebody answered on the first ring.

"It's as we expected..."

"Understood." came the reply.

************

There was a knock on the door. Shinji didn't bother getting up to respond. The rapping sound continued.

"Go away." he said flatly, without a trace of emotion in his voice.

"Shinji? It's me, Misato. Are you ok?"

Shinji didn't respond - he just slumped against the wall, curled up in a fetal position.

"Can I come in?"

Again, no response.

_"I wish she'd just go away... I wish everybody would just go away..._"

"Shinji, I'm coming in now." Misato said as she opened the unlocked door and stepped in. What she found was an uncharacteristically bare and sterile house, enveloped by the darkness. 

"Shinji," said Misato firmly, "What happened today wasn't your fau-"

"The hell it wasn't." he whispered. Misato was silent, waiting for him to say more.

"I - I'm useless. I'm worthless. I can't do anything!" he choked, "I couldn't even save Rei!"

_"Shit. I forgot to tell him."_ said an inner Misato.

"Shinj-"

"Don't say anything! Just - Just leave me alone."

Misato tried once again. "Shi-"

"GO AWAY! I DON'T DESERVE ANYBODY'S PITY!" he shouted.

"Just let me finish! Rei isn't dead, she's -"

"She's not dead? WHERE?" 

"As I was saying," continued Misato, "she was severely injured, but she should make it. She's at the hospital now."

"Cou - could I see her?" asked Shinji, almost begging.

Misato hesitated for a moment. Rei was still unconscious and wrapped up in bandages. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to...

"Sure." she said, almost surprising herself with her quick response.

"Now?" asked Shinji, hopefully.

"Yes." replied Misato, startling herself once again.

************

"Hey." said Kaworu as he walked into the Misato residence.

"Hi!" said Asuka, seemingly cheerful.

Kaworu was taken aback by Asuka's unexpectedly positive demeanor for a moment.

_ "I guess everybody reacts to stress differently..."_

"Is Misato home?"

"No..." said Asuka slowly, temporarily lapsing in her joyful attitude, "she went to see Shinji."

"Oh. Um, so, had dinner yet?" inquired Kaworu. For once, he didn't quite know what to say. He expected having to comfort Asuka after what happened earlier, but obviously, the situation was unforeseen.

"No, not yet." she responded, quickly regaining her pleasant tone. "I was waiting for you." 

"You shouldn't have." Kaworu gave a slight smile. Or tried to. "I'll prepare the leftovers..."

"Ok! I'll help!"

As the duo prepared their dinner, Kaworu stole glances at Asuka. She seemed to be blanking out as she set the table, lost in thought.

"Asuka?" asked Kaworu politely.

"Ah! Sorry!" said Asuka as she jolted back into existence.

The two had a quick dinner, punctuated by mostly unsuccessful attempts to make conversation on Kaworu's part and the noise of eating. After dinner, they dumped the plates into the sink, and quickly found themselves lying on the couch, watching TV. Kaworu was sideways, and Asuka was leaning against the hand rest. The news reported sold the story of the explosion of Unit-00 with an elaborate explanation about how some munitions storage area detonated due to a combination of poor maintenance and human error. They had even brought in supposedly military experts to assess the risks and talk about it could be prevented in the future. During the whole time, Asuka still wore the blank face she had when she was setting the table.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"You know, if you ever need anybody to talk to..."

"I'm fine." she said brusquely. 

"No you're not - but you'll get better."

Asuka responded with silence.

"You know," Kaworu continued, "You won't get bette-"

"Just stop talking. Please." said Asuka, almost pleading.

"I'm sorry." said Kaworu. He stood up and began to walk away, but then Asuka grabbed his wrist. Kaworu turned around and faced her, slightly puzzled. Asuka quickly let go and looked away, trying to act as though nothing happened. He rethought his actions, and sat back down next to Asuka, who stared at the screen. Time passed slowly. He inched towards Asuka slowly, and leaned on her slightly. He could feel Asuka's body tense up suddenly, then relax. He took this as a signal that it was alright with her, and put a little more weight on her. Asuka also leaned towards Kaworu a little. Then the door suddenly opened, and Misato stepped in. Both Asuka and Kaworu instinctively moved away from each other. Misato gave no sign of seeing what had just happened. She sauntered over next to them, and fixed her eyes on the TV, which was now playing some drama show with a complex love pentagon. Misato gave a loud yawn.

"You guys, I already had dinner outside. I'm exhausted, I'm going to take a shower then sleep... Don't stay up too late."

Kaworu nodded slightly. Misato then walked off to have a shower. Kaworu and Asuka returned to their previous distance between them. Hours went by, and neither of them had said a word. Asuka was now resting in Kaworu's arms, which wrapped around her body. Judging by the pace of her breathing, it seemed as though she had already fallen asleep. Kaworu could feel his eyelids becoming heavy, and the urge to close his eyes soon overwhelmed him. He was considering his plans as he slowly fell asleep...

Author's Notes: Is Rei really dead? If I were a bit more sadistic, I'd leave you wondering, but the answer is yes. She died; the clone is already in place. Sorry if it seems like the plotline is jumping around erratically - I kinda started this with only an ending in mind, and am literally making most of it up as I go along. And man, I had to resist the urge to insert dialogue in Japanese so many times... I'd add in a Kaworu/Shinji yaoi scene, except that I'm a heterosexual male, so that doesn't exactly interest me. By maybe a Rei/Asuka one might do. Just kidding. Really. If somebody submits a decent one, I might add it in an omake as a joke =p Why am I even ranting down this avenue? Because I just skimmed through the FF section for Naruto (Again, for some odd reason - Why I keep torturing myself, I don't know), and Jesus fucking Christ, I swear that literally 1/2 of the fanficts there are yaoi... Its past 2, and I should get some sleep. Now only if I had an Asuka to fall asleep in my arms... 


End file.
